Friday, March 22

#50 Memoirs of a single Christian lady: Being single comes with all its burdens and benefits

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A true life series by A_Emma

Which problem should I be thinking of now? Is it the fact that Michael is there complaining about how I do not have time for him because of my job or the fact that we were ‘militarised’ during the presidential election (& possibly the gubernational) and I (and a few others in different LGAs) were deprived ourvoting rights and in spite of that, a winner was declared by INEC? Or my unbelievably busy schedule right now because of the elections – we are involved in a lot of meetings and campaigns against electoral violence especially as it affects women in Politics and the whole office political brouhaha that goes along with it (with lazy people like Kelechi trying her best to prove that she can do a better job at leading than I can, my job is made harder because I have to practically rewrite the reports she writes because the monumental grammatical errors cannot be overlooked, the reports are incomplete because being a perpetual late comer, she misses out on most of the activities anyway. I wonder why she insists on report writing) I tire!

First of all, Michael should understand abeg! It’s not easy for me this period – after the elections, I will have time to look at his face, now I am working for my money! Sometimes I wonder what I ever saw in him anyway – he is not particularly handsome sef and he seems ignorant about how to make a lady feel special. Can you imagine that the first time I went to his house, he did not offer me anything at all – I mean, nothing!When I complained of thirst, he went out to buy me Pure Water! He stays in a practically empty 2-bedroom apartment. It contains just a white plastic table and 3 plastic chairs. In addition, he has a box TV and a DVD with old-fashioned looking curtains. His kitchen was ok – basically because his elder sister and mother furnished it themselves since they come around sometimes (at least that is what he told me when I asked). I don’t even know how any wedding between us can take place this year because he has just 50k in his savings account – he spends all his money giving to his family, church and just anyone that approaches him for financial assistance! His story is one for another day – I’m too tired to write down all what I feel right now. I am happy that I have not told anyone about him yet. Fortunately, Pastor said we should still be praying to get a very clear confirmation from the Lord. I think it’s the perfect idea.

This one that I am having cold feet towards Michael, is it not my village people after me? This is the guy that I had been drooling over o! I jump and pass! Anyway, he should chill small – let elections finish so I can be free a little.

This UK trip… how do I put my mouth and tell Michael that an old boyfriend of mine is inviting me over to the UK and the same boyfriend is the one financially responsible for the trip? Why didn’t Andy suggest this last year? See opportunity to travel to obodo oyigbo on a platter of gold before me? Chai!! How can I sneak out of the country without Michael knowing? See wahala

That is not the only problem – if I go to the UK, where will I sleep? Can I honestly tell myself that if I am alone with Andy, ‘nothing’ will happen between us? Even if we do not have sex, ‘other things’ may still occur. Very honestly, how will I see Andy after so many years and ‘nothing’ at all will happen? Even if I do not want to do ‘anything’ at all, what about him? In spite of all this, I really do want to see him (and go to the UK!). On an emotional level, Andy is the best guy I’ve ever met and I still think of him very fondly. Mmmhhh… how can one individual be having conflicting feelings for two guys?

Let me concentrate on my job issues jare – at least they are more logical and understandable. I just came in from a meeting in Abuja and I have major office wahala. First of all, I’ve found out that Nma has been sleeping with the HOD in a rival NGO and giving him information about ours that he is about to use against us to his advantage (he is one of the reasons people do not trust NGOs in the first place – he is in it basically to make money off people!). As I was away for a few days, Kelechi’s laziness cost us a lot of money as she lavishly spent unnecessary money for one of our rallies; getting items and personnel that nobody asked her to – all in the bid to prove that she is better than me. This has dented our budget negatively and I have to think of how to manage what we have left before the next cash gets disbursed to my department. If she wasn’t related to my boss, I am sure she would have been sacked a long time ago. As for my married boss’s driver ‘boyfriend’; he is trying to ask me out – may God punish him! Nonsense! 

PS: Kelechi came in with a black eye to work first day of this week. Apparently, there is trouble in her delusional paradise. It’s funny how a female working in such an organisation as ours that fights against gender based violence can still tolerate violence from a man that isn’t even her legal husband anyway.

Indeed, I need Jesus now more than ever!


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